This is a Joke of a thread

Q : What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination ?

A : Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but i never told them anything.

Teacher: "Who discovered America?"
Little Johnny: "I promise you it wasn't me".

Yoga Lessons now being held at the "Hangover" all welcome...

hahahaha()X( god one titch(tu)

just saw this on my mate Kevin Bloody Wilson's page


"We had a power outage at our house this morning and my PC, laptop, TV, DVD, iPad & my new surround sound music system were all shut down.
Then I discovered that my iPhone battery was flat and to top it off it was raining outside, so I couldn't play golf.
I went into the kitchen to make coffee and then I remembered that this also needs power, so I sat and talked with my wife for a few hours.

She seems like a nice person."

Scottish couple took in an 18-year-old girl as a lodger. She asked if she could have a bath, but the woman of the house told her they didn't have a bath, although if she wanted to, she could use a tin bath in front of the fire.
"Monday's the best night, when my husband goes out to darts," she said.
The girl agreed to have a bath the following Monday. After her husband had gone to the pub for his darts match, the woman filled the bath and
watched the girl get undressed. She was surprised to see that the lass didn't have any pubic hair. She mentioned this to her husband when he came home.

He didn't believe her, so she said: "Next Monday, when you go to darts, leave a little early and wait in the back garden. I'll leave a gap in the curtains so you can see for yourself."
So the following Monday, while the girl again got undressed, the wife asked:
"Do you shave?"

"No," replied the girl. "I've just never grown any hair down there. Do you have hair?"
"Oh, yes," said the woman, and she pulled up her nightdress and showed the girl that she was really generously endowed in the hair department. The girl
finished her bath and went to bed.
Later that night, when the husband came in, the wife asked him, "Did you see it?"

"Yes," he said, "but why the hell did you have to show her yours."
"Why ever are you worried about that?" she said. "You've seen it often enough before."
"I know," he said, "but the darts team hadn't!"

A very tired husband came home from the office after a long grueling day to find his wife in her
sexiest night-gown waiting for him at the door with a couple of glasses of wine in hand.

She took his briefcase from him and led him over to the couch where she proceeded to help make
him "more comfortable."

"How should we do it tonight, honey?" she cooed in his ear, "Shall we do 69?"

"I don't think so dear. I'm pretty tired. How about 68?" he said.

"Huh, 68? What's 68?" she asked, a little puzzled.

"You do me, and I'll owe you one."

www.tech4law.co.za/humour/images/air-fre...r-for-mrs-brown.html

we should move the tellytrack thread to here...

I got home from the pub last night and my wife said, "I can't believe how intoxicated you are."

Denying it I said, "I'm not Drunk."

She said, "Yes you are."

I said, "No I'm bloody not."

She said, "Can you tell the time?"

I walked up to the clock and said, "I'm not bloody Drunk."

Please spare a thought for the man who told
his wife he is going to China on the
Malaysian flight no. MH370 and now
can't come out of his girlfriends flat...

That reminds me of that supposedly true story of that dude who went to his skellum's instead of going to work at the twin towers on the morning of 9/11. Later in the day when he was all finished with the girl and ready to pack up he noticed he had a zillion calls from his wife. He called her and she asked him where he was and he told her he was still at work....