JOKES

TV in UK is shite tonight,im going to annoy you boys and girls with some humour..

We have a joke thread Dave have a search

An Angry Wife To Her Husband On The Phone;
Where The Hell Are You,,,?
Husband;
Darling You Remember That Jewellary Shop Where You Saw The Diamond Necklace and Totally Fell In Love With It and I Didnt Have The Money That Time and Said " Baby It Will Be Yours One Day.."
Wife,With A Smile And Blushing;
Yeah I Remember My Love!
Husband;
Im In The Pub Next To That Shop

Susie is a prostitute who doesnt want her gran to know.One day the police raided the brothel and lined all the girls up outside.
Suzies gran walks past and sees her.Quick thinking,Suzie tells her its a queue for free oranges,so her gran joins the queue.
When the police get tu Suzies gran,they are surprised and ask her 'How do you do it at your age ?'
She replies, 'I take my teeth out,peel back the skin and suck 'em until they're dry'!

I suggested to the Wife to shave her twat to spice up our sex life.I woke up bald this morning

Its getting near that time of year again when that fat bastard with a beard comes and brings a load of shite presents.......
God i hate the mother in law.
With that im off to the pub for a few sherberts

!


Dog ate my iphone

The wife asked me what i was doing on the computer?
I told her i was looking for cheap flights.
" I love you " she said,then she got all excited, un-zipped my trousers and gave me the most amazing blow job ever...
Which is odd, because shes never shown an interest in darts before...-

Good one Dave.......