Some laughter for a cold morning

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Some laughter for a cold morning

14 years 1 week ago
#139735
Joe says to Paddy, "Close your curtains the next time you're shagging your wife.  The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday." 

Paddy says: "Well the joke's on them because I wasn't even at home yesterday."
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Mick walks into Paddy's barn and catches him dancing naked and playing with himself in front of a tractor.  Mick says, "Jaysus Paddy, what in hell de yer tink yer doing?" 

Paddy says, "Well me and Mary haven't been getting on in the bedroom lately and the therapist recommended I do something sexy to attracter.....
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Paddy says to Mick, "Jeez, I'm ready for me holiday;  but this year I'm going to do it a bit different.  Three years ago I went to Spain - and Mary got pregnant.  Two years ago I went to Italy - and Mary got pregnant.  Last year I went to Majorca - and again Mary got pregnant".

Mick asks, "So what are you going to do this year?"

 Paddy replies, "Oi think oi'll take her wid me"
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Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on a Friday this year" ...

 Mick says "Let's hope it's not the 13th."
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Paddy and Mick find three grenades, so they take them to a police station.

 Mick says, "What if one explodes before we get there?"   

Paddy:  "We'll lie and say we only found two."
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Paddy's in the bathroom and Murphy shouts to him.  "Did you find the shampoo?"   

Paddy says, "yes but it's for dry hair and I've just wet mine."

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Re: Re: Some laughter for a cold morning

14 years 1 week ago
#139739
At least your jokes are slightly better than scotias

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Re: Re: Some laughter for a cold morning

14 years 1 week ago
#139740
Justin B.....

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